


The One He's Walking To

by pineovercoat



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Being good is hard, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Experimental Style, M/M, Melodrama, Misery and despair, Non-Linear Narrative, TSCU, Tam Lin but like Freeform, Trauma, as is my brand, canon-typical sadness, i threw a wrench in canon and it threw 13 back at me what can u do, implied background Terraqua, multiple POVs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:33:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22072579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pineovercoat/pseuds/pineovercoat
Summary: Roleswap: Aqua leaves the Realm of Darkness at the end of KH1. Riku is left behind.Or:The world tried to burn all the mercy out of me, but you know I wouldn't let it.
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 145





	The One He's Walking To

**Author's Note:**

> _"You choose right over wrong. When it's dark, you try to bring some light. You end your journey knowing you made things brighter. If everyone made that choice, well... I think everyone can. Maybe they just need to see how you do it."_ \- Poe Dameron issue #31, 2018.
> 
> big huge giant thank you to [parkadescandal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkadescandal) who has put up with me since I started yelling about the kernel of this idea in uhhhh february of last year and listened to all my brainstorming and pinpointed with laser precision all the issues in the first draft and the many drafts after. thanks for helping me kick this dang thing out the door and special shout out to 1. your grammar expertise- Ansem the Wise wouldn't sound nearly as regal without it and I got taken to _school_ & 2\. sending me that picture of your sad riku fridge magnet when it dropped on the floor. it reminded me what this was all about. here's to "fallen riku" and here's to my first TSCU!! (FINALLY) let's think about every kingdom heart and get sad and stuff!!
> 
> summary lyrics are sunshine riptide which is the definitive sora song imo

[0.ii]

The Nobody’s name was Axel, and he was fading.

Sora told himself he didn’t care. After everything he’d done- to Aqua, to the King, to the worlds. He might have lost his own memories of Castle Oblivion, but Sora still remembered Kairi, and the Organization, and how _Axel_ had nearly destroyed Ven’s chance at ever waking, clear as day, and here he was.

And here he was, lying on his back, dying. He needed help- he--

“You know, I thought this all meant I’d get to see them again,” said Axel, staring straight up at the sky, a bitter sort of smile on his face. “Guess not.”

Sora straightened, scrambling away from him. The gentle clink of his keyblade’s chain ground at his ears, more rattle than chime. See who? Was he looking too?

“I-” he began, but there wasn’t a single thing that felt right to say. None of it felt right now that the anger was gone. The heat that had guided his blows twisted and shapeshifted, settling on his face and burning his cheeks with shame.

“That's right, Sora,” said Axel. “Keep on running.”

His voice was thin, sharp, but it was all for show, a snake who’d long since run out of venom.

Sora flinched. “I don’t-”

Axel cut him off with a loose roll of his hand. “Whaddya know... you were the perfect puppet after all. Xemnas will be _thrilled_.”

He closed his eyes, and the darkness holding him together began to pull apart in earnest. He was disappearing, in much the same way the other members of the Organization had- Xaldin, Demyx, the ones he barely remembered. One sharp stab of pain lanced through Sora’s heart, then another. A laugh bubbled up out of Axel’s throat, startling Sora, who felt his eyes grow hot.

He laughed again, cruel and hollow, and Sora wrapped his hand around the keyblade’s grip like it was a lifeline. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Axel had some poison left in him still.

“You just keep your head down and do everything they tell you.” He turned a grin on him, lit by one last brilliant spark from somewhere deep inside of him. In it, Sora could see the sunset from a view he almost knew- lazy summer days, three voices laughing together, plans, a bright future-

Sora shook the sudden vision from his mind and forced himself to look at Axel- the one here, in front of him. No clocktower, no golden light. His eyes glittered underneath drawn brows; they were very, very green. Just when he thought he’d taken on all the pain he could possibly bear, his heart surprised him again.

Axel snorted mulishly, like he’d heard his catastrophizing somehow.

“Hell,” he drawled, “keep _going_! Maybe one day you'll even end up just like me.”

Sora drew back, confused. Like _him_? In what world-

He’d done what he was supposed to do. He knew it. What other choice was there? The Organization was evil, and Axel was in it. He’d fought monsters before- the darkness, and the Heartless. Nobodies weren’t any different. They didn’t belong. They shouldn’t exist. The fact that they did was an abomination. They weren’t people. There was nothing to mourn. Master Yen Sid and the King told him everything he needed to know--

So then why did he feel so sick?

The Nobody in front of him died like a snuffed flame: brilliant one moment then nothing at all, with only a black stain and a faint, fast fading wisp to indicate he’d ever even been, and then that was gone, too.

The keyblade felt heavier in his hand than it ever had.

-

_I wish I could tell you different, Sora, but it only gets harder. I hope that when the time comes and you have to make the same sorta choice, you listen to your heart, and you choose what’s right, not what’s easy._

_-Mickey_

[i.]

Sora’s ears strained, working double-time to catch the whistle of a wooden sword splitting the air, the rustle of displaced sand, maybe even the tread of footsteps. Nothing. The wind danced through the leafy palms, over the earth, through his hair, same as it ever did. Somewhere just beyond the shore, a gull cried. If he focused, he thought he could catch snatches of fishermen laughing and joking over the spray of the waterfall.

Riku was right there only a second ago- how could he have gone so far, and so fast, too?

“Over here.”

The taunt was coming from somewhere overhead. Sora held his sword in front of him with both hands, pointing it like the needle of a compass. All he could see was the side of the shack, the empty beach, the pool at the base of the waterfall- where _was_ he?

“Little higher up.”

“Riku,” Sora warned, flushing. He swung his sword above his head in a series of short, sharp chops. Higher up _where_? In a tree? He squinted hard against the noontime sun, blinding in its intensity.

The sound of Riku’s voice moved slightly. It was definitely above him somewhere, he knew that much. The treehouse? No, that was too far. He spun again with another heavy, two-handed swing, a crackle of nervous energy making its way up his spine.

“That all you got? Really?”

Sora huffed, and his mouth twisted with annoyance. “Well maybe if you’d quit playing around and get down here I could _show you_ -”

“Yeah, alright.”

There was a soft rustle, then the pound of thick soles on wood, and Sora looked up to see Riku leaping from the roof of the shack, on a collision course with the exact spot where he was standing. He gasped, barely managing to tuck and roll out of the way in time. No sense in waiting around for him to land- Sora vaulted in the direction of the beach, putting distance between his limbs and the swing of Riku’s sword. Its telltale whistle sounded out somewhere behind him. Wincing, he spun. Not the best idea in the world, putting his back to the _enemy_ -

And sure enough, there he was, using the advantage of momentum to press on and chase him backwards across the sand. One hit, two, then three- their swords met with high, sharp clacks as Riku forced him onto the defensive, herded out towards the crashing waves. A few yards offshore, a fisherman whooped loudly.

“You can take him, Sora!”

Sora didn’t let that distract him, as much as he wanted to wave and call a greeting back- Riku could turn inches into _miles_.

The seconds streaked by like lightning, and the fighting ground to a halt when their swords locked at the hilt, bringing their faces together.

This close, he could see Riku’s green, green eyes flashing with the thrill of it.

“How’s _that_?” Sora crowed, exhilarated too.

Riku laughed, teeth shining white in his flushed face. “Not bad.” He drew himself up, using the advantage of his greater height and stronger arms to somehow put even _more_ power into his lock. “But let’s see how you do against _this_!”

Energized, Sora gave a battle cry, mustering up all his strength to force him away. It didn’t do much, but it was enough to give him some breathing room. Riku skip-hopped back, sword flashing out to meet him again before Sora could even catch his breath. He blocked, splinters flying as he matched him blow for blow, tracking Riku’s face, dancing circles around him all the while.

His breath was coming harder. Sora cheered silently. Maybe now he could put the score at something a little less pathetic than three to zero for the day. _Just one_ , he prayed. _Just one win. It’s all I need._

Their swords clicked together loudly and Sora grew bolder, beaming at the telling rose color of Riku’s skin. _Running scared_. He came in close again to hold his stare, and Riku returned it, the bend of his arms sloppy as he went to meet his next strike at chest level. For a moment, completely breathless with excitement, Sora thought- _oh, wow, I’m actually gonna get this_.

Only for a moment.

Quick as a gust of wind, Riku’s aim changed, going low, not at _all_ where he’d been swinging just a second ago. Sora stumbled, gasping as he tried to throw himself out of the way of the swipe hurtling towards his ankles. His sword flew from his hand, spinning sideways, and his footing went with it. The next swing came dangerously close to his chest, forcing him backwards and down, down, down into defeat.

He landed hard on his bottom, narrowly avoiding biting his cheek and tongue as he went. In the next second, the point of a wooden sword tapped his nose. On the other end of it, Riku smirked.

“Four-zero,” he said. “Pay attention next time.”

“That’s _cheating_ ,” Sora accused hotly. He rubbed the heels of his hand over his hip and his ankles. The fall stung, but not worse than his pride; he could hear laughter from the boats offshore. Struggling not to go cross-eyed, he swatted the sword away, then focused the rest of his energy on pouting up at his so-called friend.

“It’s a fight,” Riku answered matter-of-factly. He withdrew, slinging his wooden sword over his shoulder with an easy kind of grace. “No such thing.”

“That’s not fair!” he protested, climbing to his feet.

Riku looked over him consideringly before fishing Sora’s sword out of the sand. He tossed it back to him with a snort and clapped his hands free of the grit.

“Who cares about _fair_ ,” he shot back, settling into his new favorite stance- the one where he raised his sword near level with his own head and extended a hand out towards his challenger. Usually, that was Sora. Almost everyone else had given up on sparring with the best fighter on the island, but Sora refused to let it go, and so it went- though he could never tell if that hand was meant to be pulling him in or mocking him; _come and get me._

Kind of hard when he went and hid in unreachable places, Sora thought, nose wrinkling. He was wrong. It was definitely cheating.

“You have to be ready for anything,” Riku went on, as if he’d been reading his mind. He held his chin high, lecturing him just like one of their schoolteachers. “You can’t whine about cheating when you’re _dead._ Anyway I pulled that and you know it _._ ”

“ _Dead_ -!” He puffed up; they were playing with toy swords! Why did Riku always have to be so _weird_. “That was a dirty trick and _you_ know it!”

Riku tipped his head, regarding the low roof of the seaside shack, then looked slyly back at Sora.

“You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first.”

Silent, Sora scowled at his sword. _I won’t even look at him_ , he told himself, digging its point into the sand. The truth was bound to be written all over his face. He wasn’t about to give Riku the satisfaction of knowing he was right.

It didn’t matter. Somehow, Riku always managed to see right through him. “Don’t worry,” he said smugly. “You’ll catch up.”

Sora stuck out his chin, stubbornly refusing to look anywhere he could see Riku. Unfortunately, that didn’t leave him much else. His eyes found his own scraped up hands and the scabs covering his knees, and with a sinking despair, he realized that they might as well be the scorecard. The sword dropped out of his palms, clattering to his feet. His eyes welled up with tears.

“What if I _don’t_?” he said hoarsely, hiccuping, then clamped his lips shut. Why was he such a crybaby? The more he tried to hold it in, the harder it was to hold back. He forced himself to look at Riku, telling himself he wasn’t, he wasn’t a _baby_ , he wasn’t going to cry, but the concerned look on his face only made everything worse. Sora blinked hard, trying to push the heat building inside his eyes away, and finally, the tears spilled over and down his cheeks.

Riku faltered. His sword arm drooped. “What?”

“What if I don’t ever catch up?”

“What are you _talking_ about, Sora?”

“What if I’m never as good as you?” He dropped down to the sand with a heavy _oof_ , utterly miserable. “I’ll never be able to beat a dragon or an evil wizard or even the monster under the bed, I _hate_ the dark-”

“Well. Well… that’s what _I’m_ here for,” Riku said, the confusion plain on his face. “You don’t have to do any of that when I’m around, _duh_.”

“But what if you’re not!” He felt like such a kid, crying over something so stupid. It was probably because of how hard he fell. He wished he could stop. He hiccuped again. “I’m not nearly as big as you, or as strong, or as smart- and you have all these ideas and I- and I-”

Riku’s face went pale. “Don’t- don’t _cry_ , Sora, jeez- I’ll always be there. Promise!”

“But what if you’re _not_ -!” he wailed, overcome by the sudden wave of helplessness.

“Stop _saying_ that! You’ll go with me! It’s just like that weird lady said. Everywhere I go, you’ll go too,” Riku said hurriedly, putting the sword back in Sora’s hands. When he didn’t take it, Riku guided his fingers to close around the hilt and held them there. “You hear me, Sora?”

“I hear you,” Sora mumbled.

Riku’s face bunched up into a little frown. “I don’t believe you.”

“ _I hear you_ ,” said Sora, louder, and a little less miserable.

That seemed to be enough for him; Riku nodded. “Good.” He tapped the center of Sora’s crown necklace sternly. “And if you can’t _see me_ , you just gotta yell, alright? Tell me to quit playing around and call for me. I’ll know you really mean it and I’ll come back.”

Sora sniffed, eyes still burning, but he nodded.

“Try it,” Riku urged, hands curling over his again, as serious as Sora had ever heard him. “Right now, okay? Try it.”

“Riku,” Sora said softly, feeling silly.

“ _See_! I’m _right here_ , so you can stop _crying_ already-”

“You were right there anyway,” he complained, but he really did feel better. He lifted a shoulder, wiping his cheek roughly against his shirt, then stopped short, one last little thought squeezing his chest.

“But what _if_ something happens,” he said, hushed, whispering quiet enough that only Riku would know he ever said anything, and so he wouldn’t have to let go of his hand to go knock on wood. “And what if someone’s as strong as you and I have to fight them?”

Riku sat back on his heels. His face screwed up a little bit as his eyebrows pinched, like some old wise man. Like Sora’s dad.

“Then I’ll just have to teach you,” he decided.

“Teach me…?” Sora echoed.

He nodded fervently. “Yeah! Like, look, just now, I _won_ because you got all mad and started looking at my face and not where my hands were going, so I aimed at your legs, and-”

Eyes wide, Sora listened, his hands held safely in Riku’s all the while.

[ii.]

“He’s still there,” Sora said slowly. “In the Realm of Darkness.”

It wasn’t a question, not exactly, but Aqua answered him anyway. “Yes.”

Sora nodded.

Aqua followed his eyes to the light sinking below the horizon. Though the day was dying, the sun was still high enough to cast long shadows over the beach. It made monsters of everything- the rolling clouds, the trees, the shack, their own bodies. They loomed as large as any Darkside.

She breathed in, long and deep. _This is the Realm of Light. You’re in the-_

Sora’s voice cut neatly through the darkness of her thoughts.

“It’s horrible there,” he whispered.

“Yes,” she agreed, softer still.

His chin quivered. He looked down.

Horrible didn’t begin to cover it. He knew that personally now, despite all her best efforts. But by some miracle, they were both free of it. Amazing how she hadn’t run out of chances yet, but Sora- he deserved better than this.

Distantly, she registered the sound of rolling thunder.

He was so _young_. Too young for his eyes to look so old and so sad, and too young go on in spite of that. Her heart crimped as he composed himself, setting his jaw and his shoulders against his sorrow.

_Sora_ , she thought, letting the name spin around in her head. Sora, Sora, Sora- wiry and small, swimming in his black clothes, pulling all the light left in the sunset to him like a magnet. A boy like him ought to be slacking off from his studies, making up games and play-acting the hero without ever knowing there was a darkness so terrifyingly real it could swallow up worlds. A boy like him shouldn’t have to be burdened with the knowledge of what it really meant to see a star wink out. What was the point of someone like her, of a Keyblade Master, if not that?

His thin shoulders drooped under an impossible weight. It was a miracle the Kingdom Key didn’t dwarf him entirely. She thought of Terra. She thought of Ventus. And what had she told Sora, on this very beach, so long ago? One keyblade was enough for any friendship?

She rubbed the flats of her palms over her arms once, twice, suddenly impossibly chilled. In her experience, there was no satisfaction to be had in ‘ _I told you so_ ’s.

The storm broke.

“Why didn’t we find him?” Sora rounded on her, desperate. He held a hand over his own heart like a claw, like if he only pointed his nails in at the right angle, he could sink his fingers into his chest and tear the horrible feelings out of it and do something useful with them, something that mattered. “I thought, after Xemnas, after all of it-”

Even bathed as she was in warm light, she felt cold. Less a girl than dark water.

“We were _right there_. Why didn’t we _find him,_ Aqua?”

She couldn’t fault him for it. She’d thought the same things with her own ghosts. Shouldn’t his heart have led him to Riku? Why hadn’t he _felt_ him, if he was so close? Wasn’t the strength of their connection enough?

A breeze lifted her hair, carrying with it the feeling of salt, sun, and absolution. She pushed down a shiver and told herself the feeling was a miracle and not a mistake. This beach was nothing like the Margin. There were no gulls there- no wind, no trees, no fish or light or life. Here, she could feel the pleasant sting of a day too long in the sun, or even the lash of rain against her face. Here, she wasn’t alone.

“The Dark World…” She swallowed. “It plays tricks on you.” As she watched, the waves moved back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, the endless rhythm terrifying in its enormity. “Makes you doubt even the truest things, believe complete lies. There’s more to that place than we know. _I_ didn’t even see all of it.”

Ten years in long darkness, and she’d found nothing but misery until the King had come for her. Even after, the trials hadn’t ended. But Sora’s eyes were fixed on her, earnest, and there was nothing else Aqua could do but let the hurt sink below the surface. Still waters.

_Later,_ she told herself. _Later._

“We’ll find him,” she said, hoping he could forgive her her good intentions. Ven’s voice rippled through her memory: _you’re awful, Aqua_. She shoved that under the water’s surface, too, dredging up humor from somewhere dark and deep instead. “Don’t worry. He’ll be in the last place you look. Aren’t things always?”

It was enough to draw a small laugh from him, and that gave Aqua the strength she needed to continue. “Listen, Sora. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there’s always a light in the darkness. You can’t lose sight of hope.”

The laughter in his eyes faded; they went wide in his young face, and fixed on her. Had she looked like that too, back in those days with the Master and Terra and Ventus? So green and sincere?

“Hope?” Sora whispered back, more to himself than to her. By the time the word was out of his mouth, hanging like a struck note in the humid air, he’d already convinced himself of its power.

Aqua nodded. “You can be his, Sora.”

Lightning struck in the distance. They both turned at its flash, standing silent as the peal of thunder followed, ringing out like a bell.

“All of us will be,” she amended, speaking over the cracking sky. It was too much to put on just one person; Sora was carrying so much already. He didn’t need more, not when others could help him bear it. She looked down at the crumpled letter in his hand again- the King and the Master’s summons. Biting her lip, she made a silent promise to him. This test wouldn’t end the way hers had. She wouldn’t allow it.

“It may take longer than we want to find him,” she cautioned. It was difficult not to think of someone else entirely, not to lie to Sora in quite the same way she’d lied to herself, but her ghosts had nearly taken her, and Sora was still so young. “He’ll need a light until we do. We need to be as strong as we can be- to save them. That’s what we have to be for the ones who are gone, Sora. The voice they look for. A way back home.”

Sora stood up straight, then nodded again, scrubbing at his face. The moment passed, moving like a cloud over the sun, and then he was beaming, pressing his hand, letter and all, flat to his heart.

“Right,” he said, like that was that. “The way home.”

Though gentled, his voice was clear and strong.

Aqua pressed her lips flat. He was so much like Ventus, and belief was a thorny thing. It could be a lifeline as much as an anchor. Hadn’t it dragged her to the bottom, too, tangled in its chains? As she regarded the glass bottle hanging from his left hand, winking with reflected lightning, and the small roll of paper stamped with the broken remnants of the King’s Seal in his right, she wondered exactly which one she’d just thrown Sora.

“He won’t even need it,” Sora announced confidently. He turned his back on the storm. “Just watch. He’ll find us first.”

[iii.]

Ansem Report VI

_I do not know the day, much less the hour. Time passes strangely in these places between light and dark. Each instance I travel the corridors, I wonder if it will be the last. My resolve tells me time and time again: ‘No. There is much still to do.’ I obey. Vengeance is within my grasp, and it is too close to abandon now. Even now, I find myself with an unexpected ally- a Keyblade Master._

_How curious. I had thought none still lived- none save the King, and the young wielder they captured, who still has not grown into his power. Imagine my surprise when I learned of her presence in the castle. Much of the Organization fell to her blade, the rest to the boy and to the traitors in their own ranks. But what else can be expected of a den of vipers?_

_The board is set, the pieces in motion. The hour will come when both the boy Sora and the Keyblade Master shall play their parts. It seems fate is on my side at last. But providence proves a most fickle friend; others have not been quite so fortunate._

_I had a chance meeting with a young man on these strange shores, and whom should it be but an old friend of Sora’s? They shared in a great adventure together, though as to his own part in it he was hardly forthcoming. He refused even to name himself. Truly, he seemed to only wish to speak of Sora and, to my great surprise, the King himself._

_Despite his reluctance to tell his own story, when asked he divulged everything he knew about the champion of light. ‘Anything that can help him,’ he said. He expressed his distress that he could not reach him. In his heart he felt he was beginning to forget him, and worried if it was the darkness reaching him, or perhaps something else. Some greater oblivion._

_For all his reticence he proved a better companion than the dark. A determined young man, and a fighter, no doubt, but his affections betray him. In an attempt to alleviate his anxieties, I allowed him some pages from this journal to commit his thoughts to paper. I’ve found that distance does much to reduce their weight._

_He spoke very fondly of his friends, and of the life he left behind. It is not an uncommon pain for those who find their way to these shores. I should know._

_The water seemed to offer him some comfort, at least. I had thought to ask if he had heard anything of the Great Reservoir of Radiant Garden, if he knew anything of what had become of my home, but it was not to be. To my great sorrow, we were separated not long afterward. A Heartless ambush... it seems they grow stronger by the hour, in numbers and in power. There is something far greater on the horizon, I think, than even the Organization can anticipate._

_Despite much searching, I was unable to locate him, and forced to move on for fear of becoming lost myself. I fear he may have fallen into a greater abyss than I can ever hope to traverse. But I keep the faith. Should he return to the Realm of Light one day, it is my fervent hope that he will reunite with his friends and return home. The Realm of Darkness is no place for a light such as his._

[iv.]

The door to Yen Sid’s study was solid under his palms, the bulk of it sturdy even under his weight. It was a door that had seen many meetings, and in its time had stood careful guard between the world and the secrets held within. But many years had passed since those days, and the small council gathered behind it weren’t nearly as quiet in their discussions as they hoped.

“ _Aqua can confirm that Lea- Axel, rather- has joined their ranks.”_

_“So their thirteen- they have them all?”_

_“No. Not their last, thanks in no small part to Sora’s efforts. But there is another-”_

Really, Sora should have been doing his part by not listening, but what else did they expect? Passing his Mark had been such a high, despite everything. When he’d been politely asked to step outside, he thought they were pulling together some kind of surprise for him- tea and cookies, maybe. Cakes. Candles. Balloons. A celebration, not-

_“You don’t mean...?”_

_“He_ was _previously taken as a vessel. We cannot rule out the possibility.”_

He jerked. Wood scraped under his nails, and Sora screwed his eyes shut, hardly daring to breathe. One moment passed, then another, and the whispers continued. They hadn’t heard. He let a quiet sigh go, fixing his eyes on the stars just visible through the landing’s window. They flickered faintly, twinkling just like the lights of the Fourth District. Like he was still in the dream, maybe. Had it really even ended? As far as he could figure, he’d only traded one nightmare for another.

_“-a likely option now. Perhaps the easiest target-”_

_“No. His heart is strong enough to resist-”_

The New Organization- they’d wanted him for their thirteenth. And now that he’d robbed them of their first choice, he’d doomed someone else. Sora’s fists curled.

He couldn’t imagine a fate more horrible- having your heart taken over, becoming something you weren’t. And every last member of the New Organization had given themselves up to that willingly. _Why_? He’d heard all their reasons, and he still couldn’t understand _why_. Sure, Xehanort wove stories like the best of them, but that was all they were. Stories. Cruel, and fake, and mean-

_Astonishing, that you could make it this far without your best friend to take the fall for you._

_But he was always meant to fall, wasn’t he? And it’s all your fault._

It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. Riku wasn’t-

He lies, Sora reminded himself firmly, shaking his head like it could fling the thought loose. Xehanort lies to get what he wants.

He lies- Sora swallowed sickness- and he gets what he wants.

Agitated, he pushed away from the door.

_Waking._ He rolled the thought around in his head as he paced circles around the landing, trying desperately to follow the jumbled mess of threads to a point, a plan. _Waking. Waking. Keyblades and Masters and a fabled blade and a fated War and the Power of-_

His eyes drifted to the window again. He thought of Dreams and Nightmares, of wizards and dragons and monsters under the bed, of going out there and _doing something_ \--

Riku would be able to pay attention, he knew. Riku always had it together. He’d have a plan, and he’d refuse to let anyone tell him what to do or leave him out of anything. He was always teasing him about napping and slacking off. He’d sure have a lot to say about tonight.

Swallowing hard, Sora imagined a stern poke to the chest where his pendant rested, just to the right of his heart.

Slowly, fighting thick and clumsy fingers, he found the necklace’s closure. It had seen him through so many things, but it was starting to feel too heavy where it was. He fumbled with the catch; the chain spilled from its clasp like light through an opened door.

“Sora?” Aqua asked from somewhere behind him. He could hear a smile in her voice. Would it be in her eyes, too? “We’re all ready for you in here.”

The crown pendant shone against his gloved palm, a star adrift.

_Happy faces_ , he reminded himself. _This ship runs on happy faces._

He tucked the chain away and turned to greet her with a smile of his own.

[v.]

Aqua stepped forward, closed her eyes, and breathed in the cool, cloying air.

Dead light over still water. Oppressive silence. The Dark Realm was a lonely, lifeless place. At least that much hadn’t changed. The only current disturbing the sheaf of papers in her hand came from her own trembling fingers.

Mickey fidgeted beside her, the gentle tinkle of his keyblade’s clip ringing dangerously loud in the quiet. He steadied himself, and looked to her, uncertain.

“I can’t feel him either,” she said, in answer to the King’s silent question. The words rippled out over the sea, travelling to meet the horizon.

Her thoughts went with them to Sora, somewhere on the other side of that line, and to the title that took him far away from the places he wanted to be. Not so young now as he’d been only days before, she thought dully. Duty. Responsibility. Sacrifice.

It had never been in her plan to see these shores again. She’d promised herself that once, her very own light at the end if she ever made it out. But some things were bigger than her hopes or even her fears.

_The job’s taken_.

Anxiety gnawed at her nerves, at the very heart of her, and at something else festering deep inside, buried.

Ansem, or rather, Xehanort’s Heartless, and Xemnas, and even Xehanort himself, in a way- they all traced back to her. Even so, she’d never quite managed regret for returning Terra’s body to the Realm of Light, regardless of the chain of events that followed. Sometimes she was horrified with herself for that, but at least the past was the past. Immovable. Out of reach. Her fingers tightened around the starved ream of paper in her hand.

It wasn’t a mistake she could ever make again, even if she wanted to. That was some relief, at least.

At her side, Mickey let loose a weary sigh. “What do we tell him?” he said, miserable.

She fell silent for a moment, wrapping her fingers tight around the hilt of her keyblade. Ven had believed himself ready to go after Terra, and where had that gotten him?

“I know what it’s like, here.” Aqua took a short, fortifying breath, tamping down on the tremor in her core. “It nearly wore me down, and I’m a Master. He’s barely more than a boy. I’m sure he’s strong, but even so...”

_You were the one who gave Riku the keyblade_ , Terra, she mused. _You chose him_. She wanted to believe that meant he was strong enough to face anything, but even Terra had fallen. And the Master... she’d never felt safer than when the Master had walked their halls with his Defender at his side. He’d been capable of looking past his heart to see futures she couldn’t even allow herself to imagine. When things had gone sideways, when it had all gone so impossibly wrong, he seemed unflappable, so solid and sure, as steady as his bearer’s grip.

And even he was gone, and his secrets with him.

Still waters. What had been under the surface, she wondered.

She steeled herself, turning to Mickey. “We tell Sora that he wasn’t here. That we’ll keep looking. And that’s all.”

“But-”

_He has no reason to distrust you, really._

“I don’t like it either.” Aqua felt her lips firm. She thought back to the hall of mirrors she’d stumbled upon here, days and years ago all at once. Maybe she really was the demon her reflection had accused her of being. If it meant protecting the light, if it meant no one had to suffer her fate, maybe she could live with it, too. “But... it’s for his own good.”

Reluctant, the King nodded his assent.

Aqua looked past him and back out to the emptiness. She folded the papers in her hands, pocketing them mechanically. Strange how time had a way of changing you, even when it held you fixed in its grip. She found she understood the Master now more than ever.

She’d never meant for this to happen.

She’d never meant for a lot of things.

[vi.]

It was never cold outside of Yen Sid’s tower. It was never really warm, either. In all his visits, Sora had never gotten used to that, the hollowness of it. Donald and Goofy didn’t seem to notice, but between King and Castle, maybe they’d already seen it all, felt it all, done it all. For Sora, though, every time was as eerie as the first, even without a phantom train.

The trees were usually enough to ground him. He liked to climb them when he could- sturdy boughs bending under his hands, the feeling of bark scraping away at the vulnerable skin of his arms. He missed green, he missed blue, he missed wood and wind and leaves and the simple joy of a small slice of time to enjoy it all. But there was no sunlight, and there was no breeze to ruffle his hair, and time, well- that much seemed infinite. Countless tiny pinpricks of light in never-ending darkness, all the time in the world, and him.

_But he was always meant to fall, wasn’t he?_

Never-ending. Sora’s hands curled uselessly at his sides.

_You were going to leave him behind on that small island, and you left him behind that door, and then you forgot him._

_You stole the power promised to him. You took his birthright and his future. And look at everything you’ve done with it. Face it- your heart is already darkness._

_Do you deny it? Of course not. You can’t._

No, not even green trees were enough today.

It was a hard climb, even to the second highest roof. The slope was steep and the tiles were smooth, but what else was magic for? There was no place taller in the whole world. In any world, maybe.

He’d shouted himself hoarse from the tops of bell-towers and skyscrapers and mountains and all sorts of soaring, unimaginable places, and even though a peek over the edge of the roof showed the ground close below, somehow none of them felt quite so high as this. Up here, it felt like he couldn’t possibly go any higher. With the whole world below, disappearing into mountains and mist, the only place to hide was in the darkness between the stars.

There was a lot of darkness between the stars.

He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and ignored the feeling of cold metal against the skin of his right hand. There were so many things he wanted to say, wishing he could fill the silence, but none of them felt right _._ Like there were things he should save, things he should say to him for the first time when everything was right again. When they were together again.

It didn’t feel like as much of a betrayal to think them, though, so he kept them close- a list of the things he wanted to say, the things he wanted to share, important and stupid and both all at once, ready for the moment the empty space at his side was full again.

Moving steadily, Sora set his sights on the highest point of the tallest spire. Magic carried him where the strength of his own muscles couldn’t until at last he settled, just out of reach of the sky. It was a little bit dangerous to be perched where he was, a little bit horrifying, but at least it wasn’t a whole lot of _nothing_.

Cupping a hand around his mouth, Sora cried out. “Riku!”

The stars sang back to him with his own voice, just the same as they did on every other world- curving out, bouncing back in, the echoes overlapping each other until they wrapped him up in the sound: _Ri-ku, Ri-ku, Ri-ku_.

“Riku!” Sora called again, eyes burning, suddenly furious with emptiness, with silence, with promises and lies and loneliness, with light and darkness, rafts and doors and duty, titles and sacrifice and smiles and above all the stupid, soft-blinking stars. “ _Riku_!”

No answer came. No cocky voice acknowledging him with a level “ _Sora_ ”; no remorseful look thrown his way, deftly covered by a smart comment; no green, green eyes, sparking and alive; no Riku.

Sora waited on the off chance anyway. It was the least he could do to keep the sounds that made up his name company before they were swallowed up by the emptiness of the sky.

[vii.]

“Hey, Your Majesty-”

The King was hard to pin down these days- the last to enter a room and the first to leave it, the few times he was on the same world at the same time. But it looked like luck was on his side today; Mickey stopped, waiting politely for him by the door.

Sora jogged to meet him at the threshold. The thoughts weren’t all there yet, still mostly jumbled up, barely-defined feelings, but it was a minor miracle he’d gotten this far- he couldn’t let the chance slip by him just because he wasn’t sure how to lead.

“You met Aqua in Castle Oblivion,” he began, the words spilling out of him as he went to the King’s side. “Right?”

Mickey looked shocked for a moment, but then his face settled into something tentatively happy.

“Before that!” he explained, his white gloved hand dancing through the air to set the scene. “Why, we met in Radiant Garden many, many years ago- when you were young. Kairi was there, and she musta been just four years old.” A smile stole over his face. “You saw her not too long after, didn’t you? In the Realm of Darkness, she told me she’d met you!”

Sora’s heart skipped a beat in his chest; he knew the exact day. Riku had been there, too, when they were both kids, playing at swordfights. It seemed like another lifetime.

“In the Realm of Darkness,” he repeated, rushed, and stepped back through the threshold to hem the King in. He glanced over his shoulder. Aqua was gone. Ven, Donald, and Goofy were nearly out of sight, too. “See, that’s the thing- you were there with her when she was trapped, right?”

Mickey’s smile fell slowly, replaced with a cautious understanding. “Sora,” he began, sounding wearier than Sora had ever heard him. It should have been warning enough, but it was impossible to stop now that he’d started.

“So you saw Riku, right? He was there when you all got stuck? You and Aqua talked to him?”

“Sora-”

“You were there at the door,” Sora insisted, speaking over him. “I saw you both.”

Wary, Mickey nodded.

Sora fidgeted. “Your Majesty, I went looking for you. I went looking for _him_. And then, when I was sleeping for a year- that entire time, why didn’t you go after him?” Mickey opened his mouth, but Sora plowed on, voice rising in pitch as he went. “You let him close the door. You knew where he was. You knew what it was like, so why didn’t you--?”

He couldn’t make the rest come out. His pulse pounded in his ears. For years, he’d held on to what Goofy had comforted him with, while his palms were still pressed flat to the door he’d helped to shut. When he’d saved the world and doomed a friend. _You can trust the King, Sora._

“Why didn’t I,” Mickey repeated, hanging his head. “Sora, listen...”

The silence stretched.

There was a petulant little voice inside of him that desperately wanted to say, _Well? I’m listening_. He shoved it down. Breathing hard, he held himself still, waiting, squeezing his hands in fists so tight his fingernails bit into his palms.

After a few long moments of sharp pain, Mickey lifted his head and met Sora’s eyes. Where before there was misery, now Sora saw sympathy and resignation.

“You’re a Master now, Sora, so you oughta know- sometimes you’ll be faced with some hard choices. Decisions that you’ll be making for other people, not just you, and you’ll have to live with ‘em- whatever they are, however they turn out.”

“What does that have to do with-”

“Riku?” Mickey sighed. “Riku made one of those choices. He knew he couldn’t go home if there was no home to come back to.”

“I know _that_ ,” Sora argued, flushing. “But after-”

“That was _my_ choice,” Mickey said firmly. “And I decided Xemnas came first.”

His stomach swooped, like he’d missed a step.

“What?” he croaked, astonished.

“It was my choice,” the King repeated.

Sora shook his head, but the nightmare didn’t end. _It was my choice_ \- the words echoed around up to the high reaches of the regal ceilings. The whole scene reminded him faintly of when he’d first met Minnie in her castle, how Donald had spluttered angrily and hauled him down by the shoulders when Sora didn’t immediately bow or show the Queen the respect her station commanded.

“ _Why_?”

If Donald could hear him now.

“Why? How could you? You don’t even know if he’s okay! You don’t even know where he _is-_ do you even care _?”_

The King’s face crumpled, and before the words even finished ringing the air, Sora felt ashamed of himself; Mickey and Aqua had been to the Realm of Darkness twice now and come back with nothing but to show for it but bruises and broken keyblades. He owed them more credit than he gave them. But anger was always first in line now, before patience or understanding. And as the days dragged on, it was getting harder and harder not to wonder if that was who he really was. Xemnas had singled him out for his rage, and he’d told him there was more to a heart than those dark, awful feelings. He didn’t want to be a liar, but-

He blew out a long breath.

“Sorry,” Sora muttered, bowing his head. “Your Majesty, I’m sorry, that was out of line-”

“Sora,” he interrupted. “There’s more out there than just me, or you, or even our friends, no matter how much we care about ‘em. Our problems don’t matter more- _we_ don’t matter more just because we’ve got keyblades.” He spread his hands, palms open and empty, and in that moment, he didn’t look like a King at all, just a tired wanderer, same as him. “We’ve gotta remember we’re fighting for the people that can’t. For the _worlds_ , not just for ourselves. We have to do right by ‘em.”

Sora frowned at his feet. Mickey wasn’t wrong, and he hadn’t forgotten the bigger picture, what summoning Kingdom Hearts meant for the worlds and the people in them. Stopping Xemnas had been the most important thing, but....

But Riku had sacrificed everything. He was a part of the worlds, too. He was-

Sora bit his tongue and bowed his head stiffly. “Right.”

[viii.]

_You always teased me for napping, but I slept through a really important exam and ended up passing with flying colors!_

_I’m a Keyblade Master now, how’s that? Like, a real one, not like we thought before-- anyway, I’ve learned so many new things, even cooking! Forget seagull eggs and fish, I’m an expert at mousseline buttercream now! I’ll make it for you sometime. I don’t even have to make any cake, we’ll just eat the frosting and make ourselves sick like we used to. You just gotta hold up your end and come home to have it. Deal?_

_Speaking of- remember how my mom always said too much sugar would give you nightmares? Funny story about that… capital ‘n’ Nightmares are real, but there’s these nice ones called Dream Eaters- or maybe the Nightmares are the bad Dream Eaters? It was confusing and look. I_ was _asleep. Oh! Speaking of! There are actually monsters under the bed! Scaring kinda used to be their job? And Santa Claus is real, too, you big liar- I met him! He wouldn’t tell me what list you were on or where you were… no one would, back then._

_I guess they didn’t want me to know where you were. Where you are. Always the last place you look, right? I don’t… blame them. Not really. Probably thought it would make things easier for me. It didn’t._

_I miss you._

_I’m sorry._

[ix.]

“Don’t worry,” Ven promised, squeezing his shoulder. “They’ll find him soon. You’ll be together again before you even know it.”

_Easy for you to say,_ Sora thought, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. The dark circles under them grew like his body- bigger with each passing day. _You slept through this part._

“You bet,” he chirped instead, hugging his knees to his chest. But he knew better than to hope it would throw Ven off his scent now. He’d followed him all the way up here to the tower roof, after all. He’d spent nearly a _lifetime_ in his heart. Sometimes, when he was sitting next to him, all of him still managed to feel like some strange kind of phantom limb.

He was doing it now, folding into a seat beside him, resting his chin on his knees; his mirror image. “You wanna talk about it?” Ven offered.

_Talking_. Sora tucked his nose to the inside of his knee. He was tired of talking.

Not ten minutes ago, here, on the edge of the world, Aqua had pressed her own knee to her cheek and told him all about Terra in Radiant Garden. How, in the end, she’d watched him take his keyblade to his own heart. How she’d let it happen. She’d spoken softly about Mickey, too, how he’d told them not to interfere when Ansem the Wise had chosen his fate in the Castle That Never Was. Had chosen to die. She looked miles into the distance with blank eyes and repeated what the King said- that they had to respect what his heart decided. Smiling sadly, she told Sora that he couldn’t carry everything. That some things were out of his hands. But all Sora could think about was how he’d _respected_ Riku’s choice to seal himself behind the door, and _respected_ him right into oblivion.

“Wanna talk about your _face_ ,” Sora muttered, the words stifled by the bunched fabric of his pants.

“That’s okay,” Ven declared, unruffled. “I’ll wait.”

He sat back, putting his weight on his palms. Sora watched sidelong as he started to hum something cheery and light, and, annoyingly, he felt his own body relax in response. Slowly, he unfolded, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

“I knew Lea, before he was Axel,” said Ven, apropos of nothing. He drummed his fingers on the ledge. “He said-” Ven pursed his lips. “He said he wanted his friends to always remember him.”

Sora hummed, bland. Well, he’d taken Axel’s friends away just by existing. And then he’d put an end to Axel, too. Only his enemies knew him now- no wonder he’d joined the Organization again after rising--

Ven laughed a little to himself. “He wanted a keyblade too.”

“I never did.” It was out of Sora’s mouth before he could stop himself. Slowly, faltering at first, he struggled past a tongue thick with emotion. How could he say it without coming across as ungrateful? “I mean, I did, I _do_ , but not like you or Aqua or-” It felt wrong to say his name, like speaking of the dead. “Or Terra. Not like it was my dream my whole life or anything. I only really wanted to leave home because-”

“I know,” Ven said softly.

Sora swallowed roughly, then nodded. “I just... can’t help feeling like I stole it. Like I stole everything. I only ever wanted to see the worlds, and after that it was just about finding my friends- like, it wasn’t _supposed_ to be me-” Someone else- _anyone else_ \- would be better for the job. There were too many questions he didn’t have answers for; too many problems he wasn’t clever or decisive enough to solve. All he had was hope, and, well. He sighed. “I don’t think I’m cut out for---”

“Sora,” Ven said firmly. “Forget ‘ _supposed’_. You are. You did it, and you are, and it’s yours now. For good.”

For good. So what was the point of it all if he couldn’t use it for good? He found a thread hanging from his jacket and wound his fingers in it idly.

“I just wish… it’s just, if I can’t help Aqua and the King, then... then I just wish I could _do something_ about the Organization, at _least_! Something _useful_! I’m sick of their games! I’m sick of them constantly changing the rules and fixing the fight-”

Ven snorted delicately. “Believe me, I get it.”

“Larxene said they had their thirteen already.” Sora fixed him with a desperate stare. So Ven wasn’t technically a Master yet-- Sora didn’t see the point in leaving him out of it. He was a Guardian, as much as any of the rest of them; he’d have to face them, same as the rest, in the end. “Do you think she could’ve been lying?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “Maybe not. We have to assume she wasn’t and be ready for it. For anything.”

Sora slumped, tugging at the loose thread like a lifeline. “But it’s just… not fair. We beat them once already. And now every new Light I find is like- like I’m putting together their back up plan for them! I keep trying and trying, and they keep turning everything I do around on me!” His mouth twisted. “They even brought-” His hands rose to snarl in his hair.

“They brought?” Ven prompted, brows drawing down and in.

“It was- I don’t know, a _version_ of Riku from the past, and I _knew_ it wasn’t him, not really, but I couldn’t-- the moment came and I- how am I supposed to fight like that, Ven?”

_Come on, Sora_ , that strange double of Riku had taunted him, sneering even as Sora had dismissed his keyblade and begged him to cut his losses and _run_. It didn’t even _matter_ if that wasn’t back to his side, so long as he was safe, was himself, wasn’t infected with the influence of someone else’s heart-- _I thought you were stronger than that._

Was he strong enough to do what needed to be done, if it came down to it?

Him and Riku- they were supposed to see _worlds_ together. Maybe there was no other way for the wish to come true. Together, sure- the same view, only from opposing sides.

“How are we supposed to _win_?”

Something in Ven’s eyes shuttered. Sora bit his lip, distressed at the sight. There were too many lights going out already.

“As much as you don’t want to, sometimes you’ve gotta meet them where they are. You have to fight dirty, too.” His smile slipped from his face, like a cloud obscuring the sun. “You can’t expect they’re gonna play by the rules, Sora.”

The protest died in his throat, half-formed- _that doesn’t mean we have to be like them_. He crossed his arms over his chest, like that thin barrier alone could hold his heart and everything that threatened to break it safe inside of him, where it couldn’t hurt anyone else.

The last time he could remember feeling this twisting, gnawing, cold, relentless anger was back at Hollow Bastion, when Saix had sneered above him and told him every Heartless he put an end to was only another pawn in their plan, and that everything he’d done to help had only brought the Organization closer to their goal. And now, they were at the same crossroads- the only way to save the world was to give the new Organization the fight they wanted, and risk the end of everything.

Over and over again, it was like the worlds were asking him _what good is good?_ He had to hand the ones who wanted to destroy it all everything they needed to do it. To win, he might have to put down his best friend. How was _that_ good? How was that right? How was any of it--

But maybe he was just being shortsighted. He wasn’t the type to plan backwards from the end, to see all the possibilities and bend and break them to his needs. Truth be told, he didn’t plan much at all. Not like the others.

_Not like Xehanort_ , he thought, frowning.

He dug a hand into his pocket, worrying the three points of his crown pendant with his pointer finger as he looked out at the stars. Goofy did always like to call him reckless.

“I guess,” he said at last, staring miles ahead, seeing nothing at all.

[x.]

“Did you find anything? Can you feel him?”

The King shook his head. “No… not just yet.”

Aqua let a sound slip past her lips. It was a tiny, tired thing, and when it died, it was too frail to leave even an echo. One lonely sigh- that was all the pain and disappointment she would allow herself to admit out loud.

Not for the first time, she longed for the weight of the Master’s Defender in her hands. But it wouldn’t come. Not to a place like this. Like a fairytale, it seemed she had used up all her wishes.

Three visits now, and the darkness and the ocean remained forsaken as ever. Returning empty-handed was becoming routine, and there were so many voices in her head that battered against her thoughts, an endless ocean against a small craft. _We didn’t come all this way for nothing_ and _I made a promise to him, and to Sora, too_ and _We can’t let it be a lie, Aqua_ and _He won’t stay another minute in this darkness, not if we can help it!_ And most condemning of all: _At least the waves sound the same_.

But with each passing minute, it was feeling more and more like they _couldn’t_ help it. Each step forward took a small piece of her with it. She preached hope and light to Sora, but where was hers? Twelve years, and where was Terra? Would he even know her if he saw her? Would he turn from her for what she’d become?

_How selfish of you to be thinking of him now_ , her own voice spat back at her. _You’d never forgive a lie like the one you told. And you know he wouldn’t either._

She flinched, recoiling from the hate in it, and Mickey turned to her, concern wrinkling his brow. She shook her head, and gestured for them to move on. She was a Master, and a Guardian of Light besides. The world was ending, and there was no time for something as wasteful and indulgent as self-pity.

_Liar,_ that voice said. _You might as well. You’re the only one who could spare yourself any pity._

She sent the sentiment back with equal vehemence, putting one foot forward, then the other. But even with her body in motion, even with the mission to distract her, she couldn’t help picking at the thought, like a child fixated on a scab. Really, wasn’t it the truth?

_It is. That’s all you are. You’ve always been a liar. Everything you’ve suffered has always been your fault. Everything they’ve suffered, too. If they only knew._

Every time she’d stepped foot in this place, with Sora trusting her to go where he was forbidden, hadn’t she been looking for something else in the shadows? If Sora’s lost friend was restored to him, then maybe, just maybe...

“Aqua,” the King hissed, halting their dirge of her thoughts and the procession she walked in its meter. Hesitation drew his voice tight. “There’s something...”

A breath caught in her chest. She felt it too, now that her head was a little clearer. A stillness in the air that was strange even for this place; the eye of the storm. Her eyes snapped to his, questioning.

He shook his head and closed his eyes. “I don’t know if it’s… there’s a terrible darkness. And pain. Someone’s hurting real bad.” A frown creased a line between his eyes. “But there’s light, too. Strong. Like I’ve never felt before-”

He gasped, and that was all the warning she received before the world turned upside down.

Shoving down a gasp at the sting of the grit under her knees and palms, Aqua pushed herself up onto unsteady fours. She scanned the empty beach, terror crawling its way into her heart with every breath. Mickey’s keyblade lay at the wave’s edge, but the King was nowhere to be seen, and out over the water, there was a swarm of Heartless, writhing and horrible.

Ice flooded her veins. She knew the sight. They’d nearly taken the Realm of Light and all her hope from her before, and she knew well the power of the darkness they crawled from. This world wasn’t pleased she’d slipped away three times now without it exacting the full price from her: her life, her light.

Maybe her number was finally up.

Her shaking arms stilled. Her keyblade fell to the sand at her side.

If the Darkness was this strong here- what about the fated fight against the thirteen? Xehanort’s darkness? The terrible balance he wanted to bring to the world? And the splintered pieces of Terra he paraded around like a prize, the phantoms she’d seen in Castle Oblivion and the World Between; could she face that? _Again_? Again and again and again, no matter what she did, how hard she fought, it never ended. Even in the Realm of Light, even in her own heart- the darkness never ended. A door was no barrier, not really. A wrenching sob stuck in her throat. What was the point…?

_It plays tricks on you, remember?_ This was a new voice, warm, familiar, and twisting wryly. _Don’t let them fool you. That’s how he got me._

She whipped her head, the lengths of her hair slapping her across the cheeks. The sting of it on her skin together with the rush of cold salt air to her lungs was enough to bring her back to her senses.

Somewhere above, high above, there was noise- a cry for help. The King, caught at the head of the Tide. He needed her help. There were people who needed her. She _couldn’t_ give up, or give in. She spiked the blade’s point into the sandy earth, hauling herself up onto her knees to face her fear.

A void stared back.

Her throat tightened, a desperate, miserable hunger constricting her muscles as she watched a shadow pull free of it. She yearned to reach out, to see the darkness melt away and to find a hand reaching back, to see kind blue eyes again, and warm brown hair, to be greeted by that gentle smile on a good-natured face no longer contorted by violence. She swore she knew the voice she’d heard-

But this shape was more boy than man. The shadows bled away from him, drifting away in slow curls like smoke as he moved, his pace unhurried but guarded nonetheless.

It was a pace she knew well. No rush; there was nothing to find in the Realm of Darkness. Nothing you wanted to find, anyway. All the time in the world, and it stretched out in front of you, haunting you with the twin threat and promise of forever. Aqua fought down a tremor as she marked his approach- one step, then another, deliberate.

He stopped just short of the King, trapped by the swarming Heartless, and his keyblade, abandoned on the shore.

“You,” he rasped, with a strange, strained calm.

If this was where he’d fallen, it only followed that this was where he’d return.

“Riku,” she whispered, horrified, yet again, to be right.

He turned. Without the writhing darkness, all of him was unnaturally still. All of him, except for his eyes. Those were unmistakably alive, burning bright in the darkness.

He held his hand open, extending the inky black of his palm to them both, almost as if he were calling them closer, inviting them to join him. Shadows rose to meet his offered hand, pressing in from all corners. Her hair stood on end; her eyes flickered to Mickey, still suspended, and then back to Riku. The Dark World was terrifyingly infinite, but he made it worse by making it smaller. The watery twilight was long gone. This true darkness pressed in from all sides, trapping them, not satisfied to consume him alone. It would take everything before it was done, she knew. Every last bit of light, until there was nothing left. Even now, it covered his skin, leaving its stain all the way up his arms. Black, starved silver, and burning gold.

“You left me behind,” he said, mild. His candlelight eyes burned, first Mickey’s way, and then hers. Kneeling, he gripped Star Cluster’s hilt, rose, and held it aloft. “Like I was nothing....

“I waited for you… I wandered to these shores, and I waited for you, for the Door, for the _light_. I called out, every day.” He scoffed. “Eventually, I couldn’t help wondering if it wasn’t on purpose. If I wasn’t lost, but left behind. Useless to you after I served my purpose. A problem you didn’t need to solve anymore. How convenient.” His lips pressed into a thin line as he ran the flat of his hand over the King’s fallen keyblade. “Maybe being puppet to the darkness wasn’t any better, but at least Ansem and Maleficent were honest.”

“ _Riku!_ ” Mickey cried, struggling against the dark portal’s bonds. “That’s not true!”

Snorting, Riku lifted his chin, his eyes roving up, up, up to fix on the sky. He held his free hand up, fingers straining to the starless dark. “I closed that door, and I thought knowing the worlds were safe outside would be enough. I knew I didn’t deserve any more than that.

“Still.” His hand dropped, coiling at his side. “A little part of me always hoped someone would come.”

“We’re here now, Riku,” Aqua whispered, her grip on her own keyblade tightening in response.

“Now?” The control slipped from his voice. It rose, sharp and righteous, splintering with him. He rounded on them, the skin of his face stretched tight with wrath, all his composure gone. “Do you know how long I wandered? What I _suffered_?”

Aqua swallowed roughly.

“I do,” she said. “More than you know.”

“Then where were you?”

He could be nothing more than a school boy, she thought miserably, fingers digging into the earth at her feet. She blinked and saw Ventus, fumbling with a broken pen, abashed, and then Terra, too, _Terra_ , so bright eyed in their younger days, fresh from a mind-numbing afternoon of copying notes from the dusty old books in the castle library, streaks of graphite all over his hands from making his own fun. She could hear Ven laughing, and someone else speaking, that voice she’d heard before, low and rich and soft. It reminded her of home, of how happy they’d all been.

“You think you know,” he said, hushed again.

Riku could have been just like them- if not for the hand fate had dealt. If not for their surroundings, if not for the shadows crawling up his arms like a bruise, if not for his eyes.

If not for her.

Her heart throbbed. The vision melted, but the voice remained.

_It plays tricks on you,_ it insisted. _Aqua. Be strong._

“How, Terra?” she whispered back.

_The way you’ve always been._

_The way you taught me._

_Don’t give up on him._

But how? Riku was fallen. What other recourse did she have?

_You know what to do_. _You_ know.

“Do I?” she said.

_You didn’t give up on me._

“No,” Riku decided- he was a thousand miles away and right there, all at once. His voice sounded so cold… “You don’t know.

“But you will,” he promised, raising a hand to strike. “You will.”

She rose, feeling the Heartless close at her back. The back of her neck prickled with the gale of wind produced by their passing. An enemy behind her, her only ally down, and now, another soul she just couldn’t save--

_No, Aqua._

_You_ never _stopped lighting my way back._

Light.

The years played themselves out in reverse. She saw Radiant Garden before her. In place of a silent ocean and Riku, she saw a little castle courtyard, and she saw Terra- and she knew. She _knew_. What other way could it possibly end?

The Realm of Darkness did play tricks on you. It made you forget. And she’d forgotten something important, something she’d known with as much certainty as her own name just twelve years ago. Strange to realize she’d been wiser then than she was now. After all, what had she told those two little boys on the beach so long ago?

Smiling, she placed a hand over her heart and reached out.

[xi.]

“I’ll go,” Sora said, the words spilling out of him in a rush.

The room fell silent.

“I’ll go,” he repeated. He lifted his chin, daring anyone to tell him ‘ _no._ ’ “Send me.”

Near every eye in the room was on him now. Donald looked angry, Goofy looked sad, and Sora tried his best not to look at either of them. But Aqua- her eyes were fixed on Yen Sid, and her face revealed nothing.

“I don’t know if that’s the best idea,” the King said carefully, after one long moment passed, and then another. “You may be a Master now, but that doesn’t mean you’re the one here with the most experience in the Dark Realm, Sora.”

Sora’s heart pounded. But I’m the one who knows _him_ best, he didn’t say. _The closest connection. The best hope of finding him. It’s my voice that he’ll know-_

“The Power of Waking!” he cried, trying for reason. “What was the point of all of this if I can’t _use it_ to-” _Just point me somewhere_. His fingernails bit into his palms, piercing. He clung to the feeling, because it was better than the numb, hollow swirl of nothing. _I can’t stand here talking- and I don’t want to think anymore-_

“Some restraint, Master Sora.” Yen Sid’s eyes bored into him, knowing. “Mickey is right. Ventus is still recovering, as are you. You require rest. Masters Mickey and Aqua will go the moment we adjourn. Place your faith in them. There is no sense in throwing yourself headlong into a danger you are not prepared to face, especially after your recent trials.”

Sora bit his lip, fighting the urge to lay a hand flat over his chest. It was pointless. His necklace weighed heavy in his pocket.

Swallowing his protests, he bowed his head. “Yes, sir.”

Master Yen Sid nodded, seemingly satisfied. “Once you have sufficiently recovered, there is much work for you to do _here_. The Seven must be gathered, and the new Hearts must be located and secured. This falls to you, Master Sora. You have always been our best hope.”

_Your best hope_ , Sora thought weakly, his hands falling open at his sides. _What about his?_

[xii.]

_It’s always the last place you look._

Every time he heard it, it made him so irrationally angry, but of all the places, he hadn’t been back to the Destiny Islands yet. Not since he’d fallen out of the sky and back into its waters, anyway. Before he left Kairi and home behind to take Aqua’s advice and the Mark of Mastery. Did the dream version count? It had been so empty.

He took the ramp stairs from the gummiship at alternating twos and threes. The second his feet his sand, he bolted, one step ahead of Donald and Goofy, and then another, until he was half the beach’s length away, running races with ghosts past swaying trees and ziplines, all the way up to the doorway set into the coveside. Panting, he burst out in the summer sunshine on the other side.

A part of his heart always called out for home, but why now, and so strong? Why here, and not the big island? He idled, the heat of the sand burning at his ankles, and then, when he could hear Donald and Goofy behind him, he made for the shack.

He levered himself up over the edge to stand on its roof. Even though the treehouse and the ziplines and almost anywhere else on the little play island was higher, there was something about being above the beach that made him feel so tall. Probably because he couldn’t manage it when he was younger. Funny how that worked.

_Always the last_ , he mused, scanning the shoreline. Screaming and shouting and searching hadn’t gotten him much of anywhere.

Well, if his eyes hadn’t done the trick...

He closed his eyes and listened.

In the darkness, he could hear Donald and Goofy below. He focused past them, listening harder, and he could hear the waves crashing, and then swords clacking, and laughter. The sound deepened, and became metallic. Keyblades- and Aqua, but he couldn’t tell what she was saying- and then--

The bottom dropped out of his stomach. Riku’s voice- he’d almost forgotten what it sounded like. And Aqua- the King- Sora’s brow furrowed as he struggled to listen. The ocean was different. Quiet but powerful, it called to him. Riku’s voice called to him, channeled by another- they needed him.

_Sora_.

His eyes snapped open, and he panted for breath.

“Sora!” Goofy cried, worried. Beside him, Donald hissed and spluttered, gesturing for him to climb down.

“I’m okay-” Sora began, then stopped short. A bright stab of light glinted on the beach behind a few yards behind them- a keyblade. It hadn’t been there before. Silver and wooden and strong- he knew it, Sora realized, but he didn’t know how.

_The Master’s_ _Defender_ , Aqua’s voice supplied.

The pieces slotted into place.

More than one threshold into the Realm of Darkness. He’d heard the waters of the Dark Margin. And where else was the sound of the ocean the strongest? His head snapped to the Secret Place. Where else was there a door?

_I guess there’s one place I missed, Riku._

_-_

“Sora,” Aqua breathed, overjoyed.

The keyblade threw sparks, bright and hot against his skin and eyes, but he redoubled his efforts, pouring all his strength into holding his position, holding Riku back.

Furious, Riku bent low over Mickey’s keyblade. His eyes flashed, and just like that, Sora was in Hollow Bastion again, Riku bearing down on him, sneering- only this time it was different. It wasn’t Ansem- _Xehanort’s Heartless_ \- controlling him. It was just Riku.

It was Riku.

“The King,” Sora told Aqua, not taking his eyes off him, not even for a second.

He heard her move behind him, the sharp, short splashes of water the only indication she’d acknowledged his command. Riku’s eyes flickered over his shoulder, to track her movements, and Sora took advantage of the momentary distraction to cut a warning blow across his chest.

He jumped out of range, neat and steady, like it was a dance.

And it wasn’t far from it, really. As practiced as one, with how often they’d fought. He dismissed the Defender, calling his own. The Kingdom Key settled in his hands, warm and familiar as a song.

Riku’s lip curled.

Even with the hatred plain on his face, Sora drank in the sight of him. His hair hung past his jaw, skimming his shoulders- the same as the last time he’d seen him, only snarled and lank and paler than it ever managed to get back home, even during the heart of summer when they’d spent every waking moment outside and Sora’s own hair lightened to a brassy blond in the sun-

_Everything_ about him was the same, even his clothes. It was like time had frozen around him. Were they the same age now? Sora wondered. Was he _older_ than Riku? The thought was impossible. Everything seemed impossible.

Aqua had warned him to stay by Riku’s side. That if he was going down a dark path, it was his job to watch him, and bring him back to the light.

If he had to point to the moment that things changed forever, maybe that would be it. Two wooden swords on a sandy beach. Two strangers who’d visited them in as many days. Riku walking back towards the dock, sly with a secret he wouldn’t share, and Sora chasing after Riku for answers, always chasing him, all the way through those lazy summer days before the storm, before dragons and wizards and monsters were real, before _everything-_

And after, too.

Riku regarded him, eyes hard. “One keyblade of darkness.” Pensive, he juggled the King’s Keyblade between his hands, hefting its weight effortlessly as he looked it over. “And one of light.”

His voice was a stirring whisper, moving like a breeze over water. Like waves against a shore.

_“_ A matched set,” he declared. _“_ Maybe this is how it was always supposed to be. Maybe my heart always belonged to darkness.”

“No! Riku--”

Riku’s eyes snapped back to his, brilliant gold and completely wrong.

Even when he was little, he’d always liked Riku’s eyes. There was so much to admire about him, but the color of his eyes was one of the first things he’d noticed- green in the way only sea water could be, and so earnest, too, especially whenever he said the weirdest things about battles and hearts and the stars.

“ _No_ , Riku,” Sora tried again, swallowing past the regret squeezing his throat. “I _know_ you! This isn’t you. This isn’t where you belong, and I won’t let this place have you, not for one more second!”

“You _know_ \--?” Riku spat, cruel. “What do you _know_?

“Riku-”

“You left me behind,” he said, like he was telling Sora the sky was blue, or water was wet. His eyes dropped to Sora’s throat, only a second’s flare of gold, but when they rose, they were full of hate. “I should have known I was always going to be left behind.”

“That’s not true!” Sora insisted. “I’ve been trying to find you for so long! I’m here now-”

“ _Now_.” His mouth twisted. “What good is now?” He didn’t wait for an answer, hefting Mickey’s keyblade high above his head. The next blow was fiercer, and Sora let it connect, guiding it down to crash against the water’s surface. Behind them, the wind was picking up. _The Tide_ , Sora thought, but his attention snapped back to Riku.

“You didn’t _need me_ then,” he was gasping, scant inches away. His shoulders heaved with the force of his breath. “So tell me, why would you want me now?”

The Heartless tore between them, forcing Riku back. Ghostly whispers hissed by Sora’s ears as they passed, seizing his heart with despair- _Who would want to save anything so broken?_ ; _My heart was always meant for darkness; I thought I saw sunrise through that door._

A tremor worked its way up Sora’s arms and into his shoulders. With each swing, each swath of shadows he cut through and dispersed to get back to him, he tried desperately not to think of the little boy who’d once dreamed of the outside world- of his best friend, who’d been the first to investigate howling winds in secret places, to discover mysterious doors in dark caves, to step into the darkness and say _I’m not afraid._ His best friend, who’d held his hands and taught him how to fight. He never wanted to hurt him, never thought it was possible-

Maybe he wasn’t that boy anymore. Maybe to protect Aqua and the King, to protect the worlds, he had to forget who he’d been, who he _could’ve_ been.

Maybe there was no saving him.

_But he was always meant to fall, wasn’t he?_

Maybe Xehanort was right.

There was no choice now but to write him off to the darkness, to say there was nothing else that could be done. And he saw his chance, clear as day. Riku was angry, and that made him sloppy- it would be nothing to feint like he was aiming high, but swing low instead, to cut across his legs, bring him down hard, and-

He stopped, stunned. No. _No._ There was another little boy on the beach that day. And Sora had to do right by him, too.

_Who cares about fair?_

_Me_ , Sora thought, eyes pricking _. I do._

“What’s the matter, Sora?” Riku taunted. “Giving up already?” He smiled, his eyes hard and joyless. “I thought you were stronger than that.”

Sora reeled.

No. If this was strength, if this was power- he didn’t want it. There was no way he’d ever see a door close on Riku again, no way he’d ever leave him behind again, not now that he’d found him.

He let the keyblade fall from his hand. It disappeared in a shimmer of light, and finally, he felt weightless.

“No, Riku,” said Sora, calm. “You said wherever you go, I’ll go. I made that promise to you, too- so I’m here to keep it.”

He held out one hand to him, then the other.

Riku paused. The mean smile slid from his face. Confusion flitted over it, then pain, before it hardened into a stony mask.

“There’s a lot of missed time to make up for, but that’s okay,” Sora assured him, watching him carefully. Riku’s eyes flickered over his outstretched hands, tight with anger, but Sora kept moving, taking one step forward, then another. “We’ll have all the time we need here.”

Riku stumbled backwards.

Sora didn’t let that stop him. “There’s so many things I want to tell you!” He reached out for Riku’s stained fingers, tears springing up as fast as his smile. “I hope you’re ready to get your ears talked off, cause I’m not going anywhere-”

Riku jerked, his fingers tightening around the hilt of Mickey’s keyblade, sharp like a warning. Sora considered the stiffened coil of his hand, the keychain rattling with the force of his tremors, and forced himself still. If Riku didn’t want to be touched, then Sora wouldn’t touch him. But he wasn’t about to leave him, and he wasn’t afraid of him either. He couldn’t let Riku believe that. After all, Sora trusted him with all his heart. That hadn’t changed. The only thing that had was that now _he_ was the one who needed reassurances, and Sora was happy to return the favor, to take on all of his sadness and helplessness and pain. It was agony, carrying that kind of hurt alone. He knew. With every beat of his heart, he knew.

Sora relaxed, opening his mouth to form some careful nothings, anything that might calm Riku, but he found himself caught on the sensation of shifting weight. It was only a small movement, low on his right side, but something about it nagged at his edge of his memory. Biting his lip, he glanced down at his hip.

A smile spread over his face. His necklace! Of course! It made for a heavy burden in his pocket, out of sight but never out of mind. It would be lighter out in the air, where it belonged. He shoved a hand in his pocket, delighting in the sound of the chain rustling as it came free, like palms fronds on a sunny day. In the valley of his palms, the gathered strand threw light, glittering like sunrise over water.

Riku froze as Sora offered it to him, but he didn’t lash out, and he didn’t run. His jaw worked soundlessly. Sora tipped his head to the side; everything was soundless now. Riku had stopped shaking. Encouraged, he clasped his fingers around the chain and the silver crown pendant, close and tight. As he moved, he considered the lost years and memory and skin-warmed metal- the link running between them wasn’t exactly the same, couldn’t be seen with their eyes or touched with their hands, but it could be felt nonetheless. Maybe a little bit of that warmth was all the reminder Riku needed to summon up his own.

Giddy now, he closed the distance.

Riku’s body was unyielding as a statue even as Sora draped the chain around his neck, but his eyes- those were vivid and desperate and alive. In them, Sora recognized something he knew all too well: fear. But he saw hope, too- cautious, but there all the same. Pride and admiration swelled inside of him; that was his Riku, brave and strong.

There was so much Sora wanted to tell him, but all of the adventures and fights and worlds and every other silly little thing paled in comparison to this moment, right now, the way his heart leapt, warm and alight with feeling.

“Hey, you know what?” chirped Sora, tapping the center of the pendant soundly, just like Riku once had for him. “I think I know just where to start.”

Riku’s face crumpled, then shattered, and Sora rolled up on his toes to catch it carefully between his palms. From there, it was nothing to draw him close, bringing their foreheads together.

“Riku,” he whispered, bumping their noses together softly on the draw back. “I missed you _so_ much.” _I’m here_ , he tried to say without words. _You won’t have to be alone again, because I’m here._

Riku’s breath hitched.

The keyblade fell from his grip, dissipating with a soft sigh.

“You heard me,” Riku whispered back. “After all this time, you heard me.”

Sora pulled away, mouth twisting as he felt the tears he’d been holding back spill over his cheeks. Riku tracked them, golden eyes unreadable, ragged breaths whistling from his open mouth. Slowly, he lifted a hand to wipe them away, smoothing his thumb under Sora’s eye with vigilant tenderness.

Choking off a cry, Sora dropped his head to Riku’s collar. His necklace’s chain dug into his skin, the dull pressure bordering on pain, but Sora didn’t care. After everything, it was such a small price to pay for having Riku safe in his arms. It was like they were kids again, like they were the only two people in the world, like everything would be okay.

“Sora.” Riku’s hand curled tight over his shoulder. He shook him lightly, but Sora couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t hear anything but Riku’s heartbeat under his ear and the gentle lap of water beneath their feet, the roar of the wind. The wind… why was that important?

“ _Sora_ ,” he repeated, insistent, a note of panic in his voice now.

Sora drew back, alarmed, just in time to see his face shutter, his stare go wide. “Riku?”

His eyes were fixed somewhere over his shoulder. Shapes and colors played across them, reflecting in that keen focus. Their hue hadn’t changed, but Sora thought that he could get used to the gold. The idea of lingering darkness made him sad, in a distant sort of way, but it didn’t really matter, so long as it was Riku.

“Riku,” he repeated, pitching himself to be heard over the wind. “Hey.”

“There you are,” he said, breathless. He still wasn’t looking at Sora. “Where did you go?”

_Me?_ Sora wanted to rail, but Riku’s eyes were wide to the whites. “What’s wrong?” he whispered, fisting his hands in Riku’s shirt. Riku’s gaze finally flicked to him. “Riku, what’s-”

“Pay attention.” He swallowed, and made a pale attempt at his old, haughty smile. “And… take care of yourself, okay?”

“Riku-”

“Remember what I told you. I’ll always come back, okay? One way or another.”

“ _Huh_?”

Riku smiled again, softer, then shoved him away.

Sora landed hard on his flank, crying out at the scrape of sand over his hip. Not a moment later, the Heartless swarm tore past the place he’d just been standing, cutting a wide swath of darkness over the water, blocking Riku briefly from sight. It passed, and Sora could see Riku still standing there, luminous against the dark, miraculously whole and unharmed. But the rolling mass of Heartless was curving back for another try, headed straight for him.

“Riku!” Sora shouted, scrambling to his hands and knees. Behind him, Aqua was shouting as she brought a barrier shimmering to life around them, and the King was saying something, too, but he couldn’t hear either of them over the thud of his pulse. He registered the King’s hand on his shoulder, but it felt far away, like it was happening to someone else. Riku didn’t have the King’s keyblade anymore, and he was too far, and the Tide was coming too fast to block- even so, Riku pivoted to meet it.

A familiar blade came gleaming to life in his hands, one that Sora hadn’t seen since Hollow Bastion. Riku raised it high above his head in an even more familiar stance, extending his hand to the darkness.

Sora thrashed against Mickey’s hold. It wouldn’t be enough. Somehow, he knew it wouldn’t be enough. Tears spilled freely down his cheeks. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t let Riku face this alone. It was like the door all over again. Oblivion was hurtling towards him, coming to claim Riku again, and here Sora was, helpless to do a thing but let it happen.

Soul Eater broke with a sound like thunder and a light like nothing Sora had ever seen before, burning all the darkness away, stripping it from the Tide and from Riku alike, like trees in a hurricane. The fractured pieces fell through its glassy surface and dropped down, down, down into the gloom of the black sea.

Riku let out a stuttering breath and followed.

“No,” Sora breathed. “ _No_.”

The wind, the Heartless, Riku- everything was gone, taken by a shrinking portal Sora could just barely make out, shining like an oil slick on the water. It was all that was left of Riku. What a strange thought. Sick as it made him, Sora couldn’t look away. His thoughts churned with the maelstrom- the same phrase whirling over and over again, sinking like a stone, the pointless end to this long waking nightmare.

_I only just found you_.

The grip on his shoulder tightened.

“Sora.” Mickey’s voice rang out, deafening in the sudden silence. “He’s in the abyss now. We have to go back to Master Yen Sid. He’ll know what to do.”

The light over the portal scattered and dimmed as it diminished. It was like the darkness was winking at him, secure in its victory. But it wasn’t closed just yet. _Waking_ \- that was exactly it. There was still a chance. Riku knew his voice.

Sora shook his head, keeping his eyes fixed on the small window he had.

“No,” he croaked.

“Sora,” the King protested. “We gotta-”

“No, Mickey,” said Aqua, gentle, but firm. “Let go.”

From the corner of his eye, Sora could make out the shape of Mickey turning to face her. “I-”

“He’s made his choice,” she said. Smiling, she laid a hand atop the King’s, and squeezed it once, gently. “I think he knows better than any of the rest of us. Let him do what’s right.”

Overwhelmed, Sora tore himself away from the whirlpool to send a grateful look her way. Aqua nodded back, her hand flexing over the King’s, and he understood. If Mickey didn’t listen, she could at least give him a small window to run. Sora took in a deep breath, gathering up his strength.

He didn’t need it. Mickey glanced between them, smiled sadly, and let his hand fall away.

Without another moment’s hesitation, Sora launched into a sprint, covering the distance to the portal in lightning strides he couldn’t be bothered to count, and threw himself headlong after Riku.

The abyss was cold and yawning and empty, pressing in on him from all sides, but that didn’t matter. No monsters or magic or darkness could stop him now. He pushed through water, through shadow, his hand outstretched towards the beam of light cutting through it all-

“Riku!” he cried. A stream of bubbles passed from his lips, blinding him. He kicked past them, further down into the murky depths. “ _Riku_!”

He was there, on the other side of the light. His eyes were closed, and it looked like for all the world he was only sleeping. Sora felt his heart in his throat. Good. He’d need it.

“Riku!” he screamed, wrapping his fingers around his wrist. He shouted it louder than he ever had, louder even than on the roof of the Tower, with all the strength left in his body.

Nothing.

Sora shook his head. Even if they stayed at the bottom of this ocean together forever, he refused to let that be the end of it.

“Come back,” he croaked, pushing out the last of his air. He dragged his limp form close. “I’m here. Quit playing around, Riku.”

One heartbeat passed, then another, slow and thick in his ears, and then Sora felt fingers curl around his wrist, a perfect mirror to his own.

Riku’s eyes fluttered open, and Sora saw clear, perfect green.

[xiii.]

Riku’s Report

_It’s so quiet here. The last thing I thought I’d miss would be seagulls, but it figures._

_It’s strange- there’s so many things I never thought I’d miss for even a second, but here I am, missing them. I guess that’s just the way it goes. You have plans, and then the world shows you better. I thought I knew so much, but I guess I didn’t know anything at all. There are probably worse ways to learn just how wrong you are. I hope I never find out. Or maybe I’ll be lucky enough to find out in one of the good ways._

_As things go, I guess I’ve had worse. I was scared for a while, but here, it’s not so bad. Just a little lonely. At least there’s the beach... It’s nothing like back home, but a beach is a beach. I like listening to the waves. If I close my eyes, it almost sounds the same._

_Even though it’s mostly dark here, there’s this light that’s always on the horizon, way across the water. I call out to it, sometimes. Something about it reminds me of home. There was this one time when we were really little that our parents let me and Sora stay the night on the beach just so we could wake up and watch the sunrise. The light’s kind of like that, even if it’s dimmer. It’s kind of like how I’m forgetting. I can see the sun, but I can’t remember what it feels like. All that’s left is just… the feeling of being alone._

_He used to ask me all the time what would happen if I wasn’t there to fight for him. I wish I could tell him now- he was stronger than I ever was. I always wanted to be more like him. Strong like him. He taught me so much- I just wasn’t paying attention, back then. I miss those fights. I miss those lessons. But I think out of everything, I miss watching the sunrise with him the most. It’s not a lot, but I’ve kept going by promising myself I’ll get to have it again- that little line lighting up the horizon, the first light over the water, the thing that makes opening your eyes worth it all._

_One way or another, before this ends, I’ll see dawn._

**Author's Note:**

> starry eyes sparking up my darkest night,  
> my baby's fit like a daydream,  
> walking with his head down,  
> I'm the one he's walking to  
> [.x.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V54CEElTF_U)


End file.
